Things You Didn't Know About Me, Pt. 1

Three things I've done that you may not have done.

I went to New York City as one of eight finalists in the 2008 Scotch Brand Most Gifted (Gift) Wrapper Contest. According to the public relations firm that handles this extravaganza every December for 3M/Scotch, I am still ranked eighth in the nation. I didn't win that year, but the trip itself was prize enough.

I was born with the spelling gene. Back in the day, you could only compete in the Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee up until you were in the sixth grade or so (or else that is when the Plano ISD cut off the preliminary rounds and sent us into full adolescent screech mode.) I competed in fifth and sixth grades and went to the state level both years. The first year I missed the word "pursuant" (I had an "e" instead of the "u," thinking of "per-" words). The second year I was panicking because my dad, who had just recovered from a massive heart attack (and this was just before the bypass became commonly used, so he was considered extremely fragile), clutched his chest and left the TV studio just before I was up to spell. I misspelled "affiliated" (I doubled the "L"), probably because I had watched so many TV ads for Affiliated Food Stores and had double vision. I was almost relieved to be able to leave the line and go see what had happened to my dad. (The spelldowns were the only time he really took any interest in me as a preteen.) It turned out that he'd been too nervous to watch and had gone outside for a smoke. Yes, sports fans, he still smoked and they weren't making people quit back in the day. No, REALLY.

I wish I had a photo of the bee. Before digital cameras, everyone was all worried about "wasting film" and cameras were big and bulky with huge hot flashbulbs and we simply don't have photos of the significant events in our lives the way y'all have now. It isn't fair. I demand a do-over.

Here I am with my dad at Christmas in my fifth-grade year. We hadn't done the Bee yet, but we would begin studying "Words of the Champions" the following spring. Ah, for that sweatshirt now! And "Dancerina," my big present. She came with a cardboard record with selections from the "Nutcracker Suite." The record and the doll were given to one of my young cousins as soon as my mother decided I was too old to have dolls. So it goes.

Note the wall of avocado green draperies. (Standard for 1969-70.) Note the console stereo. My dad built that himself. Note the real Christmas tree with plenty of tinsel. Mama did that one herself. Note the snazzy yellow stretch pants! I could still fit into those because they were so stretchy! (Not.)

And now I've forgotten the third thing. Oh, yeah, my CD. "Mixtape" by Shalanna Collins. It was only produced in extremely small test quantities (I burned a couple of copies for the van), and I discovered that it needs to be remastered in some type of listenable way. Eventually, I'll get around to re-recording the songs and making it sound good. Tracks include three of the pieces that my heroine Paige in LOVE IS THE BRIDGE wrote and performed in the novel. I really like the CD cover, too. It will be a while before I get time to work on that, though. What will I do with the Paige tracks in the meantime? When LOVE IS THE BRIDGE sells and gets into print, I plan to offer them as free MP3 downloads to all purchasers. Or maybe just anybody. Haven't decided yet.

That's me around age eight, swimming underwater after taking a six-week swimming course at the neighborhood country club. Somebody had a fancy underwater camera setup and was taking "you got your certificate!" photos of the graduates of the Small Splashers. I scanned it in and somehow it got all pixelated like that, and I liked it better than the original. Was I ever that scrawny? Like a frog in the water! (Obviously, I outgrew that phase.)

What have you done that other people haven't?

NICE WORK by Denise Weeks is LIVE on Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Work-Denise-Weeks/dp/1610090403/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342808986&sr=1-4

The suggested price is somewhat higher than it is on the Oak Tree Press direct sale page. That link, again, is:

http://www.oaktreebooks.com/Shop%20OTP.htm
(TWELVE DOLLAR SPECIAL--page down 24 PageDown keys to the book cover and ADD TO CART)

This is cool! If you can't afford the book at Amazon--and I'll understand if you prefer to get it direct for $12 and free shipping, or if you have to wait for the Kindle edition within a few days, or whatever--PLEASE click through and click on the "Like" button that's up there with the book title on the Amazon page. It helps to bring the book "up" in the rankings, which will also reduce the price. We at Oak Tree Press are not privy to how Amazon figures the price and lowers it as the book moves up, but this happens, so we ask everyone to LIKE the book. These days everything's a popularity contest, I swear.

Keep cool out there! And pity me as well, because Hubby is about to go out there to Denver where they just had the problem. *sigh* It's gonna be lonesome here with just me and the dog and the elderly mother. . . .

Summer Heat--Hot Titles Sale!

I've just gotten word that the printer our publishing house contracts with has approved all the files for NICE WORK, cover and text, and we'll have books in about ten days or so! The Amazon link should go live around the 27th.

Right now, we still have the special HOT DISCOUNT of $12 and FREE SHIPPING on the direct sales site. Here's the link again to the button for pre-ordering NICE WORK.

http://www.oaktreebooks.com/Shop%20OTP.htm

Page down to the "N" section, about twenty-four PAGE DOWNs. NICE WORK by Denise Weeks--trade paper edition--366 pgs. Use the "Add to Cart" button and you'll see the special direct buyer price.

I hope we do have some pre-orders, as I basically promised my publisher she'd start seeing sales as soon as we went live. Doubts creep in . . . will anyone "get" the heroine and the book? Will people laugh at the funny events and clever dialogue and hilarious lines? Will people identify with Our Heroine and Our Other Heroine? Will people like the setting, the supporting cast, the parodied spelling bee and private clubs, and all that stuff? *AND* am I right in believing that hardcore readers prefer a LONG book that isn't convoluted or overly complex, but just is longer in order to explore the plot and subplots (including a romantic subplot for Our Longsuffering Heroine) fully, at its organic length?

I wish I had a buy-back program in place right now so I could guarantee you a no-risk purchase. I'm working on that, in fact, because if it's good enough for airport bookstores, it'll work for me. At the moment, though, it'll just be a leap of faith when you click to purchase the book.

Come on! Only TWELVE DOLLARS! I gave more than that for a couple of burgers and drinks at lunch today. (And I didn't even GET a burger. Those were for Mama and Hubby. He is suffering because he will have to be gone on a long business trip starting early Saturday morning. I am suffering because I know I'll be sick the entire time he's gone. I need to go to Disneyland!) You get a sturdy, good-looking, easy-reading trade softcover with a custom-drawn cover (by my cousin the famous artist/architect, no less) to put on your keepers shelf. It makes you look smart and never collects dust.

Take a look at the various hot titles out there on the Direct Sale page while you're there. You never know what you might find that you'll be glad you didn't miss. Is that a convoluted way to phrase it? Well . . . too bad. The blog's free. I don't go back and edit it. (LOL)

Help me NOT be the disappointment to my publisher that I have always been to my family! Buy a book! Plant a weed! Save a horse--ride a cowboy!

Is this real?! OR am I being played like a Stradivarius?

HEY, Y'ALL!! What do you know about these blog awards? I've supposedly been nominated and I'm supposed to reply to "accept the nomination."

http://www.accelerated-degree.com/2012-fascination-awards-creative-writing-teacher-blogs/

Which blog was it that got nominated? Possibly not this one. This one is the pro blog. My personal journal is more of a "rip open soul and rummage through to see what revelations might stun the masses most" blog. Maybe the other blogspot one. Who knows?

But IS IT REAL?

Should I be flattered?

Or is it a scam in some way??

Is my blood sugar just low or something? This triggers my doubt-meter for some reason. But I would be thrilled if I were actually finally GETTING some recognition. Go figure the egoboo.

Here's the "nominee badge" that we're encouraged to display. Their site wanted me to "copy this code to display the badge," but I don't like to point to pictures on someone else's site; they often remove the pic and leave a photo-hole in my blog entry, and they convolute matters. So I just copied the dang badge. Sort of strange? OR legit?

Ever seen that before? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller. . . ?

Pre-Order Sale! NICE WORK for $12 FREE SHIPPING

After much bullying on my part of the long-suffering and amazing Oak Tree Press sales site people, there is finally a button for pre-ordering NICE WORK!

http://www.oaktreebooks.com/Shop%20OTP.htm

Page down to the "N" section, about twenty-four PAGE DOWNs. You had no idea that Oak Tree Press carried so many fiction and nonfiction titles, did you? Well, there are lots. Mine is the newest!

NICE WORK by Denise Weeks--trade paper edition--366 pgs.

The book won't physically be available until the last day of July, a couple of weeks from now. So why would someone want to pre-order it?

1) You'll be among the first to see our beautiful new creation! I hear that the newest hottest blockbuster is FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY, which deals (eventually; you have to stick with it for a while, I am told) with BDSM. Well, MY book deals with a murder whose roots are in a BDSM community gone wrong! It's played for laughs, granted, as my naive young Snoop Sister sleuths have to go to clubs and get on mailing lists to try to figure out where to look for clues. But this mystery is edgy! You'll be the first to get this book, which is BIG and LONG. That means it's more than a couple of hours' reading. It has a BEACH BOOK potential.

2) For years now, people have been waiting for me to publish something other than fantasy. Here it is! It's the first in a mystery series. No explicit stuff and no awful cussin', either. Funny stuff. Sisterly banter. Think the Snoop Sisters, the Thin Man movies, and Anne George's late lamented Southern Sisters series. My family can FINALLY read something of mine without whining about "fairy tale stuff" and "I hate magic because it isn't real/is of the DEBBIL/is stooopid." Really!

3) YOU GET A BLAZING HOT DISCOUNT!!

My publisher has put the book up on the sale page with its normal suggested retail price listed in the description. This price would make anyone gag and faint. "You think you're David Foster Wallace's protege or something?" Because this trade paperback is 366 pages. Yes, sports fans, you read right. We managed to keep this one big. BUT WE ARE SELLING IT FOR LESS THAN LESSER BOOKS!

When you click the pre-order yellow button that reads in green "ADD TO CART," your system will go to the PayPal cart window--and you will see that the book is on pre-order sale for $12.00. YES!

TWELVE DOLLARS!

This is a thrill. Compared to my fantasy novel DULCINEA, which is not quite as long but still sells for around $19 on the publisher's site (and sometimes at Amazon for $22, which I think is awfully depressing and puts some readers off--although it's now available from used book stores), this is a BARGAIN. No, REALLY!! Go to Barnes and Noble and stroll through, picking up some of their trade softcovers at 350+ pages. You will see that they sell for $24, $18, and so forth.

THIS IS A GREAT DEAL!

4) FREE SHIPPING!

5) BONUS!!

If you buy the book and then review it on Amazon (and this is an impartial review; if you really dislike it and can construct a cogent review that isn't like the ones written by fourth-graders who don't understand what the teacher has told them to read and review for class, I will be happy to hear any and all of your thoughts), YOU SHOULD THEN E-MAIL ME. I WILL SEND YOU A CODE BY RETURN E-MAIL that will let you GET A FREE OAK TREE PRESS BOOK from the selfsame OTP page, ANY OTP BOOK AT ALL!

A FREE BOOK just for reviewing the book on Amazon! This is a special arrangement with my publisher because she is awe-inspiring and she likes me best (ha). If you want the code printed on a bookmark, say so, and we'll do the deal by snailmail.

NOTE: If you want an autographed copy, mention that, and I'll send you an autographed bookplate and my various bookmarks/decorative objects. If you are one of the first twenty-five responders on this, you will also get a free pen! A FREE PEN! YIPPEE! HOORAY!! WHAT A DEAL! Okay, it's kind of silly, but hey, it's free stuff. (Right now, I only have 25 pens left. If I sell any books, I'll re-order those. It's neat to "accidentally" leave them around on bank counters and grocery store checkout stands and think that people are picking them up and perhaps noticing my pretty little cartoon and name and website address.)

If you feel that an autographed copy has to be an AUTOGRAPHED COPY where I write on the page, come to one of my signings. I'll be signing in September, possibly in August, in Dallas/Ft Worth/Fairview/Allen and in Plano and in Austin and in Oklahoma City/Norman and various other locations to be announced. You could mail me the book and I could mail it back, but that gets expensive and my signature is not yet worth what Clark Gable's goes for.

I think it's worth giving the book a chance. After all, it won the Dark Oak contest. It has finaled in the St. Martin's contest two years in a row (several years ago). It can't be any WORSE than "Twilight." (Kidding!! Kidding!!)

ANYHOW . . . my only caveat is that I'm not exactly certain when you'll receive your books. If you order now, the book will be packed and shipped as quickly as possible that first week of August. Shipped from the Chicago area. So it could reach you as late as the second week of August. Still, this is probably the most stress-free way to do it. If you wait for Amazon, you might get it a bit earlier, but Amazon's listing won't go live until the 25th of this month, and even with two-day shipping, I'm not exactly convinced you'll see books that much sooner. And they will probably cost $14. Unless we can work a deal.

PLEASE consider pre-ordering now or buying the book when it hits Amazon.

For one thing, I'd like to see it climb out of the Amazon ranking pits of around 456,666 or whatever to some more reasonable number like 13,000 or 6,999.

For another, I am thrilled that Oak Tree Press has consented to take a chance on me. I have assured the publisher that I will make my Close Personal Friends and family members buy copies as soon as possible. To break even, she has to see me sell about 400 copies. I did not accept an advance in order that the book could remain at its organic length (I believe the story took this many pages to tell--it's like the early Diane Mott Davidson books, not like a shortened genre mystery that you see coming in around 85K words.) We both made sacrifices and compromises because I promised to sell that many copies as soon as possible!

In the past I have occasionally set goals that were impossible to meet. Let's hope this is not one of them. If "The Secret" worked at all, I would not even need to beg here; you'd just KNOW somehow to get the book. But since we live in a world of begging and pleading, I am asking you to consider buying the book. Hey, what the heck--it costs about the same as a fast-food meal or a dinner out (at least these days! I paid $18 for two dang cheeseburger meals at Whataburger the other day, and I didn't even GET one of them because I am still on that dadblasted super-restrictive "not even dirt" diet).

I don't know what else to say. I probably shouldn't all-out beg and plead for you to get a copy. But I am simply not the sort of person who can with a straight face tell you how much you will adore this excellent story written in cadenced prose and that you will LOVE it and all that, because not everyone adores every book, of course. I can only ask that you try it and hope that you do like it.

I pray that it becomes a "keeper" for at least a few of y'all. If not, you can always donate it to a used book store or to a nursing home and take it off your taxes as a charitable contribution. That's the beauty of a real paper book!

(There will also be a Kindle/e-book edition. Coming soon--the Kindle-izing person is backed up over at OTP.)

Comments or questions are welcome here or at any of my other blogs.

http://shalannacollins.blogspot.com/

http://shalanna.livejournal.com/

http://www.oaktreebooks.com/Shop%20OTP.htm

Got business cards for the book tour.

I decided I wanted something to hand to people who act interested when they find out that I write books. The postcards seem to scare them.

Premium Business Cards by Vistaprint

Do authors need business cards? Discuss.

WE HAVE A COVER!

We have a cover for NICE WORK, the mystery that's coming out at the end of this month.

The cover artist is none other than my cousin, Jay Cantrell. He is an artist and architect who has won major awards, including being sent to Paris and Rome to do sketches of the buildings. My husband and I did the cover graphics.

We have a lot of control over how the book looks because of the wonderful publisher of Oak Tree Press, Billie Johnson. She has been magnificent to work with on this, all the way. Plus, she had the final say on which book won the contest! So I owe this all to her. Should have put her on the dedication page. Well, next time for sure.

I will be having a launch party in Richardson (north Dallas area), one in Ft Worth (probably Hulen area or maybe downtown), and one in Sherman (Tx) where my cousin runs a restaurant. If you want an invitation to the launch party, just email me at shalanna@tx.rr.com and I'll get you on the list! There will be snacks and cake as well as talking and door prizes at each party!

Also, I have put a fantasy novella online as a Kindle Short on Amazon. It will be FREE from Sunday, July 08, 2012, to Tuesday, July 10, 2012! This was written for Marion Zimmer Bradley's FANTASY magazine and/or anthologies, but Ms. Bradley passed away and the people who inherited the S&S anthologies eventually shut the magazine and then the books down and sent my story back some time ago. So this is BRAND NEW. It's a SHALANNA COLLINS story, unlike the novel, which is a DENISE WEEKS mystery, so the tone is completely different. It's a young adult fantasy sort of deal. Just so you know what you're getting for free! But you can judge somewhat whether you'll like my style in the novels or not, I think.

If you have a Kindle or a Kindle app on one of your computers or pad-tablet type devices, you can get A WILL OF ITS OWN (about a magical dagger that dogs a poor little worker bee girl in medieval times) by Shalanna Collins from the Kindle Store absolutely free!

A Will of Its Own for Kindle

Free from Sunday, July 08, 2012, to Tuesday, July 10, 2012--3 days!!

I do so hope you take advantage of the offer and enjoy the tale. And feel free to ask questions about NICE WORK, my process, my path to publication, and so forth.

Stay cool. It's raining in Richardson right now, in fact. Hallelujah!

Watch for the book launch around the last week of this month!